Since the launch of iCanSEO back in June, I haven’t done much in the business world. In fact, I’ve done so little, that I am calling the past 6-months a “sabbatical.”
I tried to start back up in September when our family returned from our summer trip to Europe, but it back-fired. I just couldn’t muster up the motivation to keep pushing the iCanSEO machine. I’ve dropped the ball on almost every project, and Josh hired someone new to help run the agency since I was shirking my responsibilites.
So I spent most of the fall season pondering my “why.”
Why is making money important to me?
How do I want to have an impact on the world?
What audience do I truly want to serve?
What am I passionate about?
How do I want to create real value?
It turns out, that instead of iCanSEO freeing me, it stopped me in my tracks. For the past 7 years, I had been completely and utterly obsessed with SEO. I identified with SEO. I was driven by it. Anytime anyone asked me what I did for a living, I was proud to say “I’m an SEO expert” and if prompted (which was rare) I could talk about SEO for hours.
With the launch of iCanSEO, I had several dozen SEO questions hitting my inbox daily from my new “students.” I realized that I no longer desire to talk about the “exciting” world of SEO anymore. I didn’t want to teach SEO constantly, day in and day out.
My passion is no longer in SEO; my passion is in building businesses.
My goal is not to be known as the best SEO coach, expert, or marketer in the industry. My goal is to be a creative entrepreneur and strategist.
And actually, these days I think SEO is a really dry subject. When I meet new people, I have been avoiding the “So what do you do?” topic.
But its difficult to say goodbye to something. Especially when that something has been such a significant part of your life, for so many years.
And especially when its brought such wealth and success into my life.
So I’ve been holding on to it for many months, feeling weighed down, unmotivated, and purposeless. Waiting to get that spark back that my career once provided me.
But it didn’t come back.
I decided to go for it, because I’d spent many months accomplishing nothing and getting nowhere in my career. I didn’t want this lack of direction to continue into 2018.
The questions on the Clarity Chart were something like this:
-What was my most proud or “wow” moment for 2017?
-What was my biggest self-realization or learning moment of 2017?
-How did I feel overall in 2017?
-What is my heart’s desire for 2018?
-What is my inner dragon (the fear or problem that prevents me from doing what I want)?
-How can I use what I learned in 2017, to manifest my desire for 2018?
The overall impression after completing the answers to these questions, was that I really wanted to love my career again.
Having money is great and fun and liberating, but it is more fulfilling to passionately love what I am doing and building in my career each day.
But what is stopping me from moving on (my inner dragon), is that I feel obligated to the projects I have already started. I am carrying a heavy weight of guilt for the things I have started, invested my time and money into, and not finished completely. A feeling of, ‘well I’ve come this far…I can’t turn back now…’
Feeling rather introspective and enlightened after completing my Clarity Chart, I decided to turn to a random page in the nearest book next to me, a book I had received for Christmas. It happened to be called 365 Tao Daily Meditations.
I thought, if I can get a random message that confirms what I just learned on my Clarity Chart, I will take it as a sign. I turned to a random page and read it. It said this:
“Whatever you want to do, do it to the fullest. There are just a few provisions. First, you must realize that nothing is forever. You may achieve your goals only to find out that they are no longer important to you. This is all right. That means you have come to the end of your interest and are now free to go on to something else.”
I read this short paragraph probably 6-7 times.
And thats when I knew that it was time to say goodbye to SEO.
So here I am, just returning from a refreshing 2-week vacation in Costa Rica.
And I have a new plan.
But it means saying goodbye to SEO as my identity. As who I am and what I do.
And finally, I am ready to do that.
So here is to a new year, new opportunities, new projects, new challenges, and new direction.